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Wednesday, November 17, 2021

GTA Trilogy: The Definitively Awful Edition

Image: Rockstar Games

You've seen the videos, the memes, the reviews. Grand Theft Auto The Trilogy The Definitive Edition is a steaming pile of poo.

Three games. Grand Theft Auto III, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. Originally PS2 games, all of which are nearly 20 years old. I'm no tech wizard on porting games but considering the hardware we have today and how old these titles are, getting these classics on current game machines without the slew of problems this trilogy is riddled with should have been child's play. Well, it might have been if Rockstar Games actually cared about the quality of how this trilogy turned out. But given all the bugs, glitches and other myriad of performance issues across the board, it is clear as crystal that Rockstar couldn't be bothered to care about making sure these games were solid. Sonic Colors Ultimate? N64 Nintendo Switch Online Ocarina of Time? Sit down because you ain't got nothing on the GTA Trilogy The Definitive Edition.

I'm not gonna go into the details about all the problems this trilogy is rife with. Everyone under the sun is well aware of them by now. What brings my blood to a boil is the fact that a AAA game publisher has once again, released a polished turd. And a turd, no matter how polished, is still a turd. I suppose that is three turds this time since we're looking at a trilogy. 

There is no way Rockstar didn't know this trilogy was going out the door as a disaster. They didn't send out review codes to the gaming press because they knew the a tsunami of backlash was coming. The original versions of all three games were de-listed to make room for this inferior product. 

Sure, the many, many issues with GTA Trilogy can be fixed with patches. But if Rockstar truly cared, the games would not have released in such shoddy shape. I know Rockstar didn't develop the GTA Trilogy, nor did Take 2. It was handled by Grove Street Games, the company behind the mobile ports of these games and from what I've heard, those ports were not great. Knowing this, Rockstar still gave three beloved games to a studio with a proven track record that is nothing to brag about, at least when it comes to these three titles. As the publisher, Rockstar owns this fiasco. Rockstar is a company that is loaded with dough. They could have given this job to a far more competent company. But I guess they just had to rush this sucker out the door for that holiday demand. As if we didn't live in an age where news travels faster than ever and when a product is awful, it will rightfully be mocked to no end. 

The GTA Trilogy: The Definitive Edition is inexcusable. There really is no reason for these games to hit the market in such pathetic shape except for corporate greed, which once again, puts short term profits over long term gain. I was really looking forward to this trilogy, especially the Switch release. But since Rockstar couldn't even bother to get all three games on a Switch card and the trilogy is a joke, I just saved myself $60. I may as well spend that on an actual good product because practices like this release should never be rewarded.