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Saturday, August 21, 2021

The First Big Mario Golf: Super Rush Update SUCKS!!!

Image from Nintendo

Ah, golf. It's... a sport where you whack a ball with a stick. I've never been a big sports fan. I'll watch someone else on the b-ball court or in the outfield before I get in on the action myself. Unless we're talking about video game sports. I might be down for that, especially if it is arcade style sports. But if Mario and the gang are involved then I am SO in. 

I haven't played a Mario Golf game since the GNC's Toadstool Tour and as far as tee titles go, that one was a GOAT. Mario Golf: Super Rush caught my interest with every passing bit of info I'd collected on the game. The mechanics are solid and continues to be a game I keep coming back to, even though golf titles always manage to tilt me some kinda way and Super Rush is no different.

One look at that character select roster and you could tell more characters would be added to Super Rush after launch. I'm glad we got some of my favorites like Pauline, Daisy and Rosalina right out of the gate (if you like Peach, you're dead to me). But when I found out Toadette was dropping along with New Donk City on in the new update, I was thrilled! And then I get to her on the character select screen and I get slapped in the face with disappointment. 

Um, where is Toadette's special golf wear? Yeah, she's got a golf glove but everyone has one of those. "Well, Yoshi doesn't have a golf outfit," you say, nonchalantly. Of course, Yoshi doesn't have a golf outfit! That dino has been going commando since 1990! Why would I expect Yoshi to start wearing golf clothes now?! Even Bowser cleaned up for his return to the links! Toad? That little dude is sporting some major swagger! But Toadette? Nope, they couldn't bother to give her new clothes.

Toadette has been moving up in the Mario universe. She was in Captain Toad's Treasure Tracker and was a full blown playable character. She was even the boss of the construction crew in the story mode of Super Mario Maker 2. She is not your average Toad. Yet she's treated like an after thought.

OK, so no golf wear for Toadette. How does she play? I've spent more time on the green with her than any of the aforementioned best girls. She's freaking great. Her joy gives me life and every time I get a bogey I feel like I haven't failed myself, but that I've failed her. She needs to be protected.

New Donk City? Best golf course in the game. It was a fantastic local in Super Mario Odyssey, so I'm always down to revisit it in some form or another. The streets server as rocky areas and when hitting your ball, you have to be mindful of the streets, stoplights and anything else that can server as a hazard. There are tons of chances for holes in ones here. I'm hoping we get more courses with this much care placed into them in future updates.

Buuuuuuuuut...

Despite bringing one of my favorite locals to a solid golf game, the first new big update for Super Rush sucks because of how they did my girl Toadette so dirty. You expect me to shut up and enjoy this super fun game, the free new course and character that is totes adorbs? Nah, son. #Toadettematters

I don't think I need to say so, but in case it went over anyone's head, I love the new update and I'm only a bit miffed that Toadette doesn't get a fancy golf costume. 

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