Lakitu and Me

Art by MathieuBeaulieu at deviantart.com

Ask any gamer what the most annoying brand of enemy is. 10/10 of them will tell you it's the flying type. It doesn't help that flying enemy types show up in many genres. Adventure games, platformers, action; you can't escape them. Their sole purpose is to be the biggest annoyance you'll ever encounter so long as you're playing video games. I cannot stand Medusa Heads in Castlevania games and I detest birds in the NES Ninja Gaiden titles, but the single greatest airborne enemy I hate with a passion would have to be Lakitu of the Super Mario Bros. series.

Like most kids in the 1980s, I was playing Super Mario Bros. I had just made it to world 4-1 for the first time and was giddy with delight. That joy was short-lived when I saw Lakitu. Now up to this point, I was not used to seeing an enemy that can stay in the air. Lakitu, however, didn't just hover above me, taunting with his airborne superiority. He dropped these wonderful little pests called Spiny's and this is what makes me want to choke Lakitu each and every time I see him. Lakitu is a mook that drops MORE mooks. I found out the hard way that Spiny's couldn't be stomped on (though it should have been obvious with the spikes on their backs and all.) So I'm thinking "I'll just scroll him off screen. No problem." Imagine my surprise when Lakitu begins stalking me through the entire stage. He made me nervous throughout the whole level. I had to exercise caution with my jumps, lest I suffer the wrath of a hatched or even an unhatched Spiny. Thankfully, a pipe in 4-1 allows you to skip a good chunk of the topside level and to this day, I still take it just to get away from him.

Lakitu has been a thorn in gamer's sides since 1985.

For a while, I had no idea that Lakitu was killable. Unless you had a Fire Flower, you were pretty much defenseless against the onslaught of Spiny enemies he threw at you and even if you did take out the ones he tossed on the ground, he could always make more. One Sunday afternoon, I'd decided that enough was enough. I jumped onto those first four blocks in 4-1, waited for him to get in range and BAM! STOMPED! HE! WAS! OUTTA THERE!! When I saw Lakitu fall off the screen in defeat, it was like I'd won a long and brutal war. I was so happy. Sadly, Lakitu did not stay dead. Twelve seconds later he was back, but it was nice to know I could take him out, provided I could reach him.

Thankfully Lakitu did not show up in Super Mario Bros. 2 (as well as most of the enemy cast from the first game for what are now obvious reasons) but he was back with a vengeance in Super Mario Bros. 3. He was much quicker than before and he'd only stay dead for about 6 seconds and he was back to irk you again. He was also in many more levels, which only made me hate him even more. At least in Super Mario world, I could have Yoshi eat him, jack his cloud and then go joyriding in it. That was always fun.

Lousy camera angles in Super Mario 64? Blame Lakitu!

In 1992, Super Mario Kart hit the SNES and Lakitu showed up as flagman. Given my previous encounters with him, I was mighty suspect of his actions here. For all I knew, he was gonna drop a Spiny right in front of me just before the finish line and cost me a race. Strangely, Lakitu did not do that, nor did he ever try to harm me or any of the other racers. He informed you if you were going the wrong way, what lap you were on and even fished you out if you fell off the track... for a price. If you have some coins, kiss them goodbye. I always hated how he took my coins from me if I fell off course. I'd even try to jump to get them back with the Feather, but to no avail. Yeah, if you have no coins, Lakitu still places you back on course, but I just know he's doing it reluctantly.

If Lakitu pops out of the Assist Trophy in Brawl and I did not pick it up, I am NOT happy.

When Peach goes missing in Super Mario 64, Lakitu shows up as a cameraman. So he's helping you out. That sounds good, right? Think about all those times you got stuck with a less than desirable camera angle. Lakitu was just being a punk for all those times you stepped on him in the past.

I could go on, but I believe I've made my point. Lakitu is one of the most troublesome foes I've ever encountered in all my years of gaming. I make sure to kill him several times in a single level in Super Mario Galaxy 2 just because his death cries sustain me. And because I hate him. I can only count the days until Lakitu shows up to "help" or hinder me in another Mario title.